We jinx ourselves more often than we think.  Like that one time when I was a teenager and I completely slaughtered a piece at a piano recital.  I couldn’t believe it. I had practiced that piece so many times.  I even knew it by memory!  Whenever I played it at home, my fingers just moved automatically without me even thinking about it. I did not understand what had happened.  What did I did I do wrong?  I had played that hundreds of times prior to the recital? Why did I mess up?  

Those were questions that my fifteen-year-old self didn’t have answers to.  Those are questions that my adult self has answers to now.  I jinxed myself!  I told myself that I was going to mess up at the recital, and I did.  Our thoughts can have such a big impact on how we feel and how we act.

I committed self-sabotage.  How did I do that? It all comes down to the psychological term: “self-fulfilling prophecy.”  A self-fulfilling prophecy is when our beliefs, predictions, or expectations that something will happen lead our actions (often times at a very subconscious level) into making it happen.  Although I knew I could play that song to perfection, I told myself that I was going to be nervous and mess up.  Eventually, I talked myself into being extremely nervous at the recital.  My nervousness in turn, led me into making multiple mistakes while playing the song.  My behaviors aligned to fulfill my prediction. 

The good news is that not all self-fulfilling prophecies are negative.  Sometimes positive expectations can lead you into doing things that will help in achieving your goals.  Those are the types of self-fulfilling prophecies we actually want in our lives.  But when our thoughts and expectations are negative, they can hold us back from achieving our full potential and reaching our goals.   

Application:

• Be aware of what you are telling yourself and how that affects you.
• Recognize your own self-imposed prophecies. Be mindful of the power your expectations can have on your behavior and outcome.
• Don’t jinx yourself. Once you are aware of your negative self-prophecies and how they are affecting you, work on turning them into positive self-prophecies.
• Practice self-love and self-empathy. Don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t go the way you expected them to go.  Turn it into a learning experience, a step towards success.