In his book Contact: The First Four Minutes, Dr. Leonard Zunin says that we can know within the first four minutes of talking to someone whether that person is someone we are interested in having a longer interaction with.  Something similar happens in marriage—the first four minutes of a day can determine how the rest of the day will go.  The two crucial times for a couple to make those four minutes extra special are when they wake up in the morning and when they get back together at the end of the day.

Application:

• Make the first four minutes in the morning and when you are reunited in the afternoon or evening extra special.  Say kind words to your partner.  Tell him/her how special he/she is.  Give him/her a hug, etc.  Set the mood for the rest of the day or evening.
• When you first see your partner, fight the urge to talk about problems or complain.  Save that for after the first four minutes. When you do talk about problems, do so kindly, and use the communication skills I’ll introduce in other blog posts.